PATIENCE IN GRIEF LOSS
In this time of a pandemic, how easy is it to have patience? The word alone uttered by you, or someone else can make you feel impatient and angry. How difficult is it to try and move forward day after day in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic. Only our very basic needs are met and we are filled with anxiety, frustration and no action on the part of equitable solutions?
We would only be in denial if we were to say that we have patience during this crisis, especially if we live with family or roommates. It is REAL, an unpleasant fact of life – and no timeline is solidified by our leaders, be it the President or our Scientist, the CDC or the News media. It’s like a Trivia Pursuit game with no answers on the back of the cards…a guessing game for sure.
There is only one thing you can do, which you will probably hate because you can’t win. FEEL THE REALITY AND SURRENDER TO IT.
This means you will have to embrace those nagging feelings again of anger, frustration, anxiety and pride. You have to feel the feelings as strongly as warranted for the situation. In combat, soldiers sit and wait in disciplined patience before reacting to the hidden enemy who finally shows itself. They are in fear of death, of never seeing their family again, many already living in the PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disease) epidemic. Perhaps our nurses, doctors and caregivers of today’s pandemic may be on the brink of experiencing this PTSD, as it is not just associated with soldiers. It associates with Trauma, Shock and inevitable circumstances that impact our life. The journey back to normalcy will be an extended treatment of patience and surrendering to those feelings, so that they can be healed. It is all a part of Grief & Loss.
Go ahead and feel the feelings. Feel the anger and frustration, and feel the impatience. Admit to your fears for yourself and your family.
Author, Melody Beattie once wrote:
“Controlling our feelings will not control the process!
We find patience by surrendering to our feelings.
Patience cannot be forced”
COVA-19 may last for several more months. As long as we surrender to that unpleasant fact, we can look for avenues to learn patience. The new “normal” that will promote self-care.
Talk to loved ones, if you’re tired, exercise to burn off that restless energy, listen to soothing music that contributes to your peaceful state, and therein – you will find your quiet patience.